-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn鈥檛 get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn鈥檛 lifting himself up, he鈥檚 pushing the Earth down.
-Chuck Norris doesn鈥檛 wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
-It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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